Listen up, my fellow hopeless romantic (or casual swiper)—if your go-to Tinder opener is "Hey, how’s your day?", congratulations! You’ve officially blended into the abyss of boring.
But don’t worry, I’m here to save you from the "Seen. No reply." purgatory. Let’s craft a first message that actually gets responses—without resorting to cringe pickup lines or desperate compliments.
What NOT to Write (Unless You Want to Be Ghosted)
Before we get to the good stuff, let’s eliminate the trash. These openers are so overused, they might as well come with an auto-ignore button:
"Hey, how are you?" – Wow, groundbreaking. Next.
"You’re so beautiful" – Thanks, I had no idea until 50 other guys told me today.
"What are you up to?" – Uh… scrolling Tinder, avoiding this exact question.
Now that we’ve cleared out the weak, let’s upgrade your game.
5 Ways to Write a First Message That Actually Works
1. Play Detective (But Not in a Creepy Way)
People love when you actually look at their profile. It’s like magic—except it’s just basic effort.
🔹 Examples:
"That pic in [location]—did you actually try the [local food], or were you too scared?"
"Your dog is adorable. Real talk: If they could talk, what’s the first shady thing they’d say about you?"
2. Ask a Question They Want to Answer
Swap "How’s your day?" for "What’s the weirdest thing that made you smile today?"
Instead of "What do you do?", try "What’s a useless skill you’re weirdly proud of?"
🔹 Pro Tip: The weirder the question, the higher the reply rate.
3. Start a Mini Game
People love playing—it’s psychology, baby.
🔹 Try These:
"Let’s play: You ask me a random question, I’ll answer honestly. Then it’s my turn. I’ll start: What’s the most embarrassing song on your playlist?"
"Bet you can’t guess where this [mystery item] in my bio pic is from. Clue: It’s not where you think."
4. Use Absurd Humor (High Risk, High Reward)
If they don’t laugh, they’re not your vibe anyway.
🔹 Examples:
*"Quick: If we were a ’90s rom-com, what’s our meet-cute? I’m voting ’accidentally swapped laptops at a coffee shop.’"*
"Be honest—if you were a kitchen appliance, which one would you be and why?"
5. Drop a Pop Culture Reference (If They’ll Get It)
🔹 Works if their profile hints at it:
"You look like you have strong opinions on pineapple pizza. Are you a ’It’s a crime’ or a ’Fight me’ person?"
"If your life had a theme song, what would it be? (Mine’s currently ’I Will Survive’ but sung hesitantly.)"
Lazy-but-Effective Message Templates
🔹 For travelers:
"Okay, [country] in your pics—what’s the one thing tourists always get wrong about it?"
🔹 For gym/fitness profiles:
"If your workout playlist was a person, what’s their toxic trait?"
🔹 For mysterious minimalists (aka blank bios):
"You’re either a spy or just bad at bios. Let’s test it: Tell me two truths and a lie."
What to Do After Sending
Don’t panic if they don’t reply. Maybe they’re busy. Maybe they’re dead. Either way, swipe on.
Don’t double-text. One message is enough. Desperation isn’t cute.
If they reply—keep it going! Don’t just say "lol" and vanish.
Final Rule: Be Weird (But Not Too Weird)
The best Tinder messages stand out because they’re different. So take a risk. Worst case? They unmatch. Best case? You get a date, a story, or at least a good screenshot for your group chat.
P.S. If one of these actually works, slide into my DMs. I need proof. 😏
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